Time is flying like crazy, and I see my days passing without me doing anything ; I'm not creating, not writing, not drawing, not painting, not developing.
And I would like to, there's nothing more re-assuring than creating.
I could watch youtube video until I'm all blue in the face, or listening to music, or reading a book... But I'm craving for creation.
If I'm not creating I feel useless, worthless.
And why am I not creating ?
Because I feel that I don't have enough time to create - I'm constantly interrupted ; I just have 1 or 2 hours windows everyday and I feel that this isn't enough.
It's even worse than that - because until I decided to write down that post - I didn't even realized how stuck I was.
It comes all to this : not enough time, and endless irritating issues that are accumulating daily - not important things, just plain annoying little time wasting events that are filling up my days.
Also I realized that I'm obsessing over recycling - I can't throw away plastic box, paper and hold on old stuffs too. I'm hoarding and this is getting crazy.
It's like I'm surrounded by box filled with pizza packaging and plastic bottles.
I can't let go old stuffs, I can't go forward - These aren't negative things, they're just there - but they're accumulating and it seems that I can't breathe.
I guess I need to relax a bit.
A Buddhist Approach to Avoid Accumulation of Defilements - Sakyamuni Sambuddha Vihara (temple in Berwick) and Buddhist Vihara Victoria (Melbourne) Australia: "Don't take anything (negative) into your mind and let it become polluted. Keep them out, shut them out."
“Here is another way of finding inner space: Become conscious of being conscious. Say or think “I Am” and add nothing to it. Be aware of the stillness that follows the I Am. Sense your presence, the naked, unveiled, unclothed beingness. It is untouched by young or old, rich or poor, good or bad, or any other attributes. It is the spacious womb of all creation, all form.”
—Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth
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