Secret Technique (mind trick)

A coach asked me to pretend in my mind that "I was the smartest person in the world, that I am an extremely high performer in life".

He asked me to 'Truly believe that you embody those qualities and then take action based on the behavior you imagine such a person would exhibit. Immerse yourself in this persona and adopt the traits of a high performer'.

And I was surprised to see it working, that day ; by leveraging the power of belief and self-perception to influence behavior.

Later he explained to me that this technique works because:

1. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: When you convince yourself that you possess certain qualities or abilities, you are more likely to act in ways consistent with that belief. This can create a self-fulfilling prophecy where your behavior aligns with your perceived identity as a high performer.

2. Cognitive Dissonance: Humans have a natural tendency to seek consistency between their beliefs and actions. By adopting the mindset of a high performer, you may experience cognitive dissonance if your behavior contradicts that belief, motivating you to act in ways that are consistent with your self-perception.

3. Motivation and Confidence: Believing in your own capabilities can increase motivation and confidence, leading to improved performance. When you view yourself as a high performer, you may approach tasks with greater enthusiasm and perseverance, which can ultimately lead to success.

4. Neuroplasticity: The brain is adaptable and capable of rewiring itself based on experiences and beliefs. By consistently reinforcing the belief that you are a high performer, you can potentially reshape your neural pathways to support behaviors associated with that identity.

5. Social Influence: Our beliefs and behaviors are often influenced by social context. If you surround yourself with others who also view you as a high performer or who exhibit similar traits, it can further reinforce your self-perception and encourage high-performance behavior.

Overall, the mind trick works by harnessing the mixing of beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and actions to shape behavior and facilitate personal growth and achievement.

The least of my problem now

I'm a 57-year-old man, and I used to be a porn addict. I started watching erotic magazines when I was a teenager, and by the time I was in my 30s, and because of the internet, I was addicted. I was watching porn every day, and it was starting to ruin my life, my mental health was impacted. I could not stop.

I was having problems at work and in my relationships. I was also struggling with anxiety and depression. I knew I needed to stop watching porn, but I couldn't seem to be able on my own. It was the peak time for Jenna Jameson, Nikki Tyler, and all the female pioneers of this industry, and their appeal was too much. And I thought, this would never end... what a fool!

But it happened, slowly as the age reached 50, my libido dropped every year a little more. And now I feel nothing, watching porn now, seems strange, I am at peace, most of these porn stars I used to watch have disappeared, the urge is gone.

Sure, it took some time, and I was eventually able to break free from my porn addiction. I'm now clean for over 2 years, and sure I realize how stupid it feels to be under the spell of this addiction, to be unable to control oneself, the sleepless nights, the social awkwardness, the obsession over some porn stars, the idiocy of it all is clear now, that the urge is gone, it is like a 'post nut clarity' that never ends. Aging was the solution, but it also has its bad side.

No, I'm not grateful that my libido dropped. Sure it helped to change my life. But it also means the decline to old age has started, and it is now crystal clear, that lots of time and energy were wasted over this illusion that is porn. That was something I wanted so bad, and now it feels empty. It feels like I am an eunuch in a harem, like I am unable to enjoy a meal in front of a buffet. 

Here is a piece of advice for anyone who is struggling with porn addiction: don't be afraid to ask for help. There are people who care about you and want to help you get better. Talk to a therapist, counselor, or support group. You are not alone.

I wrote this piece almost 10 years ago 

2023 Mantras

•     Remind yourself of how far you've come and all the good things you've achieved.
•     Think back to when you were in a tough spot, but still managed to overcome it.
•     Embrace the surprises and unpredictability of life, like a fish gliding in the endless flow of water.
•     Focus on enjoying the present moment and being grateful for what you have, such as a job, a home, and a peaceful place to sleep.
•     Most of our worries are often just imagined, so try to relax and appreciate what you have.

Knowledge of other minds, and other intelligence

Chitta - the cosmic intelligence

beyond memory

beyond identity

We're doomed

 Here is what happened earlier, I am in a shared office and my duty is more or less to take care of the lunch facility ; which lately has become a little challenging because I do not know for sure how many we are going to be around the table.

There are the 2 regular (a couple) but lately their eldest son is also joining, he has just turned 18, and he may or may not join, won't call before, it is always a surprise.

Today, the regular left the office a little early and I assumed they would come back around noon, table was set, I had prepared one meal for 3 and extra rice, a salad, and there was a couple of leftovers from the day before. 

Then I heard someone entering the shared office, and it was their 18 years old son, let's call him 'Gil' he grabbed a few potato chips and started to check what was cooking, I left my seat, and greeted him. He barely acknowledge me, then went into the toilet with his phone, I checked the table, crumbs everywhere.

That already started to piss me off, but I said nothing, I knew the meal would be a bit too small of the 4 of us, after about 5 or 10 minutes he left the toilet, and started to serve himself a plate, I sit next to him, and served myself some salads, he made no comments, grabbed some more potato chips, I stand up to open the casserole, and noticed, that he took about half already, I took my share, and then he served himself another portion, and at this point I told him that the remaining would not be enough, and he just grunted  'they will manage' 

I was really embarrassed, this young dude, was depriving food from his own parents, and while he left the table leaving his dirty plate, and crumbs everywhere, he lied on the couch with his mobile phone watching funny videos, with his greasy hair and dirty socks, ...

We are screwed, if this is the new generation, it made me uncomfortable.

In case of emergency

Lately I have noticed, how the mood can be influenced by TV Show, books, gossip, general conversation or interaction with people, music, etc ...

The weird thing is that for example depending on the moment, the same song, or movie will have an emotional impact, meaning tears will goosebumps, or great joy ; and later nothing ... because we moved on, or the overall mood is different, or we are not open to the same extent.

Reading is a great example of an activity that will impact completely differently our mood, if our mind is already filled with a lot of stress, or unsettled thoughts.

Meditation has its place in this process, because it is like coming back to the center of our being.

If we were a computer, deep sleep, meditation, having a good workout session would be like pressing the reset button.

Having a nice voice in our head, also a benevolent general atmosphere of supportive advice, like a very confident coach having our back at all time.

The internal dialog;

- You are doing good, you are fine, look at all the past events, and all the good things you've done so far.

- Remember that difficult time, you thought you would not be able to survive, you did it!

- Enjoy life, relax a little, look around you, realize how life is always surprising and accept it like a fish accept to swim in the never ending flow of water.

- There is nothing to do, in the end ; but to enjoy this good time, to breath and be grateful

- If you have a good job, a nice home, a quiet place to sleep, most of our worry are imaginary.

Calming the mind

There are thinkers, and there are undisciplined thinkers

thoughts will pop up in our mind, like rain drops during a storm,  passing like clouds on an October evening in Ireland, this is a fact of life.

Now sometime thoughts are nice and comforting, sometimes they are filled with regrets, guilt, anger, hatred, sadness, melancholy, and these are not fun.

I could suggest to observe these passing thoughts, not to act on them, not to pursue them even, just to  acknowledge them, and let them go.

By chance, I was introduced to the Work of Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie and  Anthony Metivier they all have found a way to 'filter' the flow of constant mind chatter.

- Are these thoughts true? Am I absolutely sure that they are true?

- Are these thoughts about the possible future? then focus on the present moment

- Are these thoughts about the past? then focus on the present moment

- Are these thoughts useful? and how do they behave?

Add this new tools into your mental health first aid kit

Smoking and global warming

 At the personal level smoking is an addictive habit, but it has benefits

- the smoker feels in charge

- the smoker feels relaxed (temporarily)

- smoking provides a break 

- smoking facilitates social networking (a sense of belonging)

but of course there is a high price for this toxic activity

and this is health 

- smoking cause serious illnesses, and this has been proven

At the collective level, we can also see the same pattern

- the excessive production is facilitating consumption

- owning new product feels great and empowering

- economic growth requires excessive production

- the whole concept of constant economic growth is unnatural

but here also there is a high price for this 

- the high demands for new products is causing artificial obsolescence

- and the general economical activities aggravates pollution and global warming impact

Advices to fight depression

Struggling with depression ... it is a journey. And unless miracles, it’s going to take awhile. 

Everyone is going to take some steps forward and some steps back. It is completely normal so try to not beat yourself up about it. It’s going to happen, it’s going to be okay, and it does get better.

Having a structure like a solid daily/weekly/monthly program is a huge help.  It gives you something to grasp onto and you slide into and out of depression.

Compassion is one of the most important parts of discipline. Everyone slips. 

Another very important step is to protect your sleep. 

Going to bed at the same time every night.

Waking up at the same time every day. 

Getting up when your alarm starts, there is no other option, just do it, get up

Discipline is not determined by how many times you slip, but by how many times you get back up and keep going. That's how you build discipline.

Lastly, you need to build up your self-esteem. It will naturally improve by persevering and succeeding. 

Recognize small victories

Finding Purposes

 

1. First aspect of your soul's contract is  to find joy in spite of challenges, pain and  karma
2. Second aspect is to find more ways to love and appreciate yourself every single day  
3. Third aspect which is to find ways to spread  your self-love and self-appreciation to others because you and others are one.

... and don't forget to have fun

Don't miss the forest  for the trees

The bigger plan

youtu.be/y13xH4asyzY

From the channel 434

Underrated habit with great benefit

Walking every day for 30 minutes. 

It's such an easy habit, but such an underrated one!

Walking will clear the mind, and will help with problem-solving and contemplating. 

A secondary side effect is that it will put the body in action,  calming the mind

If the weather is good, you get lots of Vitamin D from the sun.

It is good cardio training.

Other benefits:

• Reduces stress and tension
• Helps you be more productive
• Helps you think better
• Helps you be more creative
• Maintains a healthy weight and loses body fat
• Prevents or manages heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, cancer, and type 2 diabetes
• Improves cardiovascular fitness
• Strengthens your bones and muscles
• Improves muscle endurance
• Increases energy levels
• Improves your mood, cognition, memory, and sleep
• Improves your balance and coordination
• Strengthens the immune system
• Avoid using your car, and reduce carbon print

Follow the lead of past creative geniuses like Steve Jobs, Einstein, Asimov, Beethoven, Freud, Faulkner, Kafka, Hobbes, Descartes, Tolstoy, Hawthorne, Tchaikovsky, Darwin, and Dickens, 

They all loved to walk and it was in their daily ritual!

Also swimming, cycling, same type of good habits

and laughing absolutely essential

Psychic Vampires and being nice

I could never quite understood the proverb that 'nice guy finish last'

It has bothered me for years, and recently I have realized that 'being nice' is usually not understood quite well

See 'nice people' are usually influenceable, and they default to being nice, instead of setting up proper boundaries, that's a fact

Let's just have a scenario to illustrate what I'm trying to demonstrate;

There is Peter and he is a nice person, and there is Julia (a single mother) she is a bit intrusive and using her charm to get what she wants from men, and so Julia goes to Peter's place every day - they are friends, and she ask Peter for various items, food, money and sometime for services like repair, and sometime car rides etc ... Peter is playing nice, because unconsciously he thinks that someday Julia will return favors - but she never do that. And at some point, Peter is getting very angry and feels miserable afterward because Julia then acts surprised and cut all contact with him.

A person with proper boundaries will have set the social contract first, establishing proper relationship between Julia and Peter, she asks for money, saying it will be for a couple of weeks, Peter agrees but then after 2 weeks passes - he wants his money back.

In the second scenario Peter does not play nice - he asked for his due and this action will prevent Julia to go any further - setting proper boundaries, would prevent the situation to perdure, and surprisingly maybe would have shown Julia that if she wanted to set a valid friendship she might actually give something back from time to time.

Psychic Vampires - YouTube

How to open multiple sub reddit at once

Q: How to open multiple sub reddit at once?

A: by adding the sub-reddit one by one separated with a '+' sign

Like so:
www.reddit.com/r/occult+psychonauts+zen+worldnews+buddhism+wicca

Helena Blavatsky - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
1 - Physical
2 - Astral (later called etheric)
3 - Prana (or vital)
4 - Kama (animal soul)
5 - Manas (mind, or human soul)
6 - Buddhi (spiritual soul)
7 - Atma (Spirit or Self)

Ignorance is no longer acceptable

We all go through this question during childhood - and we ask this difficult question to our parents (or guide) 

Why do we have to die?

The fact that we are mortal, is sort of a shock - since as a child we just arrived in this world. And discovering that we are not knowing why we are here, what is our life purpose, and then we are confronted to the big question of mortality

What happened afterward, will impact us for the rest of our life

Depending on the response, maybe religion will be introduced, maybe a mere smile 

maybe just a shrug of the shoulder, that is usually also when as a child we discover to our big surprise that parents, adults don't have all the answers...

But the fact is we HAVE to move on - we have to accept the fact, that nobody knows for sure what happened after we die, and this is the biggest design flaw of this life

From there will start - enormous pitfalls

• the comforting introduction of the concept of Heaven and an afterlife 

But then will also follow the introduction of Hell, and the creation of Satan - the adversary, the evil demon - that will lead many into the denial of our responsibility ; and ultimately will make us powerless ... 

All human knowledge bears the sign of its own restrictions, of its own ignorance. 

Once we realize this - desperation may follow, or total indifference, and possibly the gratitude of realizing that nothing really matter and we might actually enjoy it for what is, and stop asking questions.

But just for a minute contemplate the immense philosophical shift that will follow the discovery - of what really happen after we die ...

Unable to be happy

There are days worse than others

To be fair, nothing was really special about today - but I'm feeling upset

My mind is racing, my thoughts are all over the place

There is this voice in my head, that keeps repeating

you can't be happy

you're not able to be happy

you're a loser

you're going to die

I wish I was dead already

But I have to work, I have things to do 

and this is getting annoying

Deleted a reddit account

Today I Deleted my Reddit Account

This is something I’d been considering doing for quite some time, and had just been putting it off. 

This morning, however, I found myself in an argument with a random internet stranger over something very small and trivial - this doesn’t happen often, at all. 

I think in the two years I’ve been on Reddit, I’ve experienced this maybe three times. 

Nonetheless, today it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I realized, afterward, that I was actually getting upset over something this person, somewhere on the other side of the internet, whom I would never know and never have to interact with, was saying. That’s not healthy.

I started examining how I’ve been using Reddit over the past several months and realized that the site was cutting into a significant chunk of my day. Reddit hadn’t interfered with my work productivity, but it had become a thing to do late at night, a way of killing time and distracting myself.

One thing was clear: Reddit had ceased to become a useful, positive thing for me.
For someone with an addictive personality (admittedly my own shortcoming), a site like Reddit can easily suck you in with distractions and lead to a lot of time being wasted over what is largely trivial, petty, and inconsequential content.

There are those who jump to defend the community (I’ve been there myself) and would say that Reddit isn’t a site you can really take at face value ; that in order to get the most out of it, you need to get past r/all and build your own collection of specific subreddits relevant to your interests.

That’s very true. This does greatly improve the quality of content you’re exposed to while on the site, but the signal to noise ratio is still very high.

I realized that the vast majority of useful links, news, insights, and resources I was collecting came from other sources, like Hacker News, Twitter, or more often, friends and co-workers. 

Usually, by the time I saw something interesting on Reddit, I’d already heard about it from some other source.

As I said, Reddit had ceased to be a positive thing for me and had simply become a distraction. 

There are any number of things I could be doing besides Reddit that would make me a happier person.

I could work on personal projects, spend more time with friends and family, start a new hobby, write more, or even give my beagle more belly rubs.

So goodbye, Reddit. It was fun, until it wasn’t.

shadow of my own darkness

I want to hide in the shadow of my own darkness
I want to disappear in the black of night, to dissolve for good
Feeling like I had to be gentle to her, as she is so nice
while at the same time, seeing that this whole thing is so vain
the suffering is not real, it is just a construct, I need to open up again
but I don't really want to - that is the trap I built for myself now
I'm afraid I won't be happy again, as being happy would make me vulnerable and open to being hurt again
but then what is left for me? nothing
feeling nothing, and waiting for the end
for the cold hands of death to grab me and take me into oblivion
as I'm now unable to feel happiness and love
I don't trust people
I don't trust nice people either
that place is dark and empty
oh, we have to pay taxes to stay there?!

How do you question reality?

How do you question reality?

Here I am going to experiment a bit and try the Byron Katie query method called "the Work" to answer the question of "what is reality" - so Is reality true? Can I be absolutely sure that it's true?

The fun part of this second question is that not many things are absolutely 100% full-proof true.

There is a simpler way in dreams though, by just watching your hands – by extending the two hands together in front of your eyes – you will then see during dream-time, that they are deformed.

You might have 4 fingers in one hand, and 6 fingers on the other, and then you become lucid.


But so far, I haven't find a similar simple trick to wake up during 'daily life' – I just know I'm not dreaming because another particular quality of 'daily life' is a possible feeling of boredom, this feeling can't happen in dream-state. In the dream things are shifting, things or events are fluids ; in physical awaken time – you can get this feeling of being stuck and being bored.

Does this mean "Reality is boring" ?

And that isn't true either, for truly awaken people – reality can be as exciting as the dreams, and that's when things are starting to manifests and both reality and dreams are starting to mix.
What is the risk of mixing the real and the illusion?

I guess there is a step forward into the interaction of the reality given as a sandbox and the potential of acting in this sandbox in a more interesting way, than being a mere consumer or a victim of reality. The step forward is to realize that we are creator, and by exercising this power we can bend realities (just like in the dream-state).
And then the question pop-up again .. what is reality?

It can't be only perceptual, because as human beings our sense spectrum is not optimized – it can't be in the mind only because for the brain reality, fiction, illusion are all the same .. informations driven experience...

What about emotions?

Reality will raise emotions, and so will books, movies, etc .. there's a whole industry taking advantages of this "feature". The emotional center is responsive to informations, everything that will provide informations is creating an emotional response. Music in particular can generate a huge emotional influx, just the vibrations of notes, can make somebody become very sad and cry or nourish an internal anger, or laugh – music has this capacity over words that are in many cases powerless when it comes to variety of languages or the audience capacity of understanding.

Music is universal, it doesn't have to go through the door of understanding – it goes directly into the emotional center.

What is reality?

What is reality?

Isn't funny that as advanced as we think we are, as a civilization, we still aren't able to answer that simple question?
But, to be fair the twist is that it's really not a simple question, let's dive into it ...
If we want to define reality, we have to sort of find the opposite of reality (of what is).
Defining by contrast is usually an efficient method.
What is the opposite of "a reality"?
Fiction, fictitious stories or Universes aren't real – right?
An illusion is also usually defined as the opposite of reality too.
Although many are saying that reality is an illusion.
Who or what decide what is real or not?
who's the beholder, who's the reference point ... consciousness?!
What if this is just the "continuity" – I was about to say the brain, but research have proven that the brain can't really perceive the difference between what is real, imagined or dreamed … the reaction will be the same.
Continuity on the other hand, is the one that will prevail in the assurance that we are dealing with a reality, because reality is persistent. That's one of the many quality of reality.
Like Philip K. Dick astutely wrote : "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away" -
Why it doesn't go away?
Is it because reality is co-created, or is it because of a bigger "creator" that can provide that reality even when everybody has turned away from it?
What is an illusion (a non-reality)?
An illusionist will project an alternate vision to the viewer that will then see something that isn't real but a crafted version of the illusionist's reality. An illusion is real to the viewer until the viewer realize it was an illusion, that is .. when at a particular moment, the viewer see the truth and wake up from the illusion. He then see something else, he sees his own version of reality.
This can happen in dreams, when the dreamer is so into the story that he can participate in a situation that would be in his awaken life completely unrealistic (doesn't follow the usual reality rules – might they be morals, physic, common sense …)
the illusion won't stand if it is questioned though .. that's why people are getting lucid in their dreams, if questioning is part of your daily routine – chances are you will wake up during the dream or become lucid.