Falling in love again

Falling in love is one of life's most profound experiences. The first time it ever happened to me, I was eleven, and I found it quite a challenge to be in love.

On the surface, it's a journey filled with joy, discovery, challenges, and growth, but it can also involve feelings of shame, embarrassment, and self-doubt.

With age, as the experience of loving someone is more appreciated, I now cherish the moments and let the adventure of love transform my life.

Love truly opens my heart, broadens my horizons, and adds empathy and compassion to my days.

The person I am in love with does not love me back; she actually pushes me away. And that is fine. I realized that this experience is mine. She (let's call her 'Anne') does not have anything to do with it. It is just me being around Anne, seeing her, and having these feelings for her.

Of course, I was clear that I had a weak spot for her.

Reflecting on this whole new episode in my romantic life, I realize that Anne does not have to love me back; she is not bound to anything. What she did, (without knowing or realizing it), was trigger a deep sense of longing in me. She ignited that craving for human connection, and I fell in love with her.

But I don't know her well enough to commit to anything. She is an external expression of my desire to love someone. If I were pursuing her, being an insistent romantic dude always sending her messages or asking her out, she would freak out (as she should).

I enjoy the warm feeling of loving her in secret and acknowledge that I am open to meeting someone. I also recognize that the person I am looking for might have some personality traits I find attractive in Anne. Of course, I would prefer that special someone to be Anne, but I will not insist on it.

Secret Technique (mind trick)

A coach asked me to pretend in my mind that "I was the smartest person in the world, that I am an extremely high performer in life".

He asked me to 'Truly believe that you embody those qualities and then take action based on the behavior you imagine such a person would exhibit. Immerse yourself in this persona and adopt the traits of a high performer'.

And I was surprised to see it working, that day ; by leveraging the power of belief and self-perception to influence behavior.

Later he explained to me that this technique works because:

1. Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: When you convince yourself that you possess certain qualities or abilities, you are more likely to act in ways consistent with that belief. This can create a self-fulfilling prophecy where your behavior aligns with your perceived identity as a high performer.

2. Cognitive Dissonance: Humans have a natural tendency to seek consistency between their beliefs and actions. By adopting the mindset of a high performer, you may experience cognitive dissonance if your behavior contradicts that belief, motivating you to act in ways that are consistent with your self-perception.

3. Motivation and Confidence: Believing in your own capabilities can increase motivation and confidence, leading to improved performance. When you view yourself as a high performer, you may approach tasks with greater enthusiasm and perseverance, which can ultimately lead to success.

4. Neuroplasticity: The brain is adaptable and capable of rewiring itself based on experiences and beliefs. By consistently reinforcing the belief that you are a high performer, you can potentially reshape your neural pathways to support behaviors associated with that identity.

5. Social Influence: Our beliefs and behaviors are often influenced by social context. If you surround yourself with others who also view you as a high performer or who exhibit similar traits, it can further reinforce your self-perception and encourage high-performance behavior.

Overall, the mind trick works by harnessing the mixing of beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and actions to shape behavior and facilitate personal growth and achievement.

Temptations

According to the New Testament (Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke) Jesus faced three primary temptations during his time in the desert:

1. Jesus was  tempted to use his divine power to turn stones into bread to satisfy his hunger, emphasizing physical needs and desires over spiritual priorities.

2. Jesus was  tempted to throw himself off the pinnacle of the temple in Jerusalem, suggesting that angels would rescue him and demonstrate his divine status. This temptation tested Jesus's trust in God's protection and his commitment to divine timing and purpose.

3. Jesus was  tempted by the dominion over all the kingdoms of the world if he would worship him, tempting Jesus with worldly power and authority in exchange for compromising his allegiance to God.

These 3 temptations represent fundamental human struggles with materialism, ego, and the pursuit of power. 

Jesus's responses to each temptation emphasize the importance of spiritual priorities, faithfulness to God's will, and the rejection of worldly temptations in favor of divine obedience and righteousness.

The Red Pill dog

 Alright, listen up, pups, because this old dog has a bone to pick! I may not have opposable thumbs, but that doesn’t mean I’m a simpleton. In fact, I’ve learned a thing or two after years of chasing squirrels and napping in sunbeams. See, knowledge isn’t just about sniffing textbooks (though I wouldn’t mind sniffing a juicy steak one). It’s about real-world experience, and let me tell you, some creatures out there are textbook examples of…well, let’s just say they wouldn’t win any “good boy” awards.

(Ahem) Now, take those feline fiends, for instance. Ever met one who wasn’t at least a little narcissistic? I’m not talking your average, aloof alley cat. I’m talking the malignant ones, the purrfect manipulators. They waltz into your life, showering you with meows and head butts, all the while weaving a web of emotional blackmail you wouldn’t sniff out in a million years.

Then, the drama begins. Outbursts, unexplained disappearances, questionable midnight adventures. You, the loyal, devoted dog, are left bewildered, your tail tucked between your legs. All the while, the cat? Batting at yarn balls, basking in the sun, living their best life. They’ve drained your energy, your enthusiasm, leaving you a shadow of your former self. And for what? A few chin scratches and a can of tuna?

The truth is, pups, these felines don’t play by the same rules. They operate on a different moral compass, or lack thereof. They’re all about maximizing benefits, minimizing effort. Logic? Pish posh! Emotions? Only useful for manipulation. They move on faster than a squirrel on Red Bull, leaving you heartbroken and bewildered in the dust.

Now, I’m not saying all cats are evil. They just…don’t see the bigger picture. They’re like furry toddlers, demanding and self-absorbed. And if you dare question their reality? Well, prepare for a symphony of hisses and hairballs. They’ll bury you in an avalanche of self-serving nonsense until you just roll over and accept your fate.

So, there you have it, pups. A glimpse into the dark underbelly of the feline world. Remember, stay vigilant, stay loyal, and above all, stay true to your canine code. After all, who needs manipulative drama queens when you have the unconditional love and companionship of a good dog?

Private investigation

As usual 'Explore the fear'

Throughout the day, I engage in self-reflection, asking the pivotal question, "How do I feel?" This practice serves a dual purpose—acting as a reality check for my lucid dreaming journey and unveiling potential unease linked to deeper issues. Often, these concerns lurk in my subconscious. I then embrace silence, delving into contemplation to pinpoint the source of my discomfort. Once ready, I meticulously transcribe these thoughts onto paper until the distress dissipates, signaling my descent to the core of the issue.

Subsequently, I embark on questioning and challenging these thoughts and beliefs. Methodically, I flip them and visualize alternate scenarios, drawing inspiration from techniques I've acquired through Byron Katie's "The Work" and Teal Scott's "shadow house".

Then 'Uncover the belief'

When a thought inflicts emotional pain, I instinctively subject it to scrutiny, employing the probing inquiries from "The Work." I question its truth, explore my reactions when I embrace it, and keenly attend to my emotions. I've observed that if my thoughts revolve around "This should be different..." or "I want, need, should, or shouldn't...," I've hit a dead end. It signals a futile resistance to the reality of things. Through visualization exercises, I unearth an alternative perspective, experiencing a shift in emotions.

This process often unravels a concealed belief rooted in my past, a residue from childhood. It prompts me to initiate a clearing process, employing the recursive methodology of "The Work." The beauty lies in the unpredictable nature of this inquiry; each session unfolds with revelations I couldn't have anticipated at the outset.

Shadow work's essence lies in elevating awareness—becoming attuned to the thoughts governing my mind. It's an active stance against being deceived or passive in the face of the mental software I run.

2024 is a leap year

I always wondered 'how we came up with 12 months of alternate 30 and 31 days, and the February with 28 days and every 4 years'. 

Who could have invented such a strange system like this? the Gregorian calendar.

There might be a better system with year was composed of 13 months of 28 days each for example

But it has its own unique set of pros and cons compared to the other wacky system of calendar we currently use.

Historically, the Gregorian calendar was adopted in 1582, this entire wacky system is loaded with  historical records, religious holidays tied to specific dates, and ingrained cultural traditions. The cost and complexity of such a global shift would be immense.

Anyway, with 364 days in a 13-month system, there is still the need to account the extra day every four years. That means that is not even doing much improvement on that front.

Well, there are other strange rules we are following without questioning them... The metric system, why is an hour composed of sixty minutes? these are questions that keep me up at night.

Psychiatry and Capitalism: Unveiling the Impact on Mental Health

In today's world, the field of psychiatry stands at an intriguing crossroads with capitalism. It is essential to delve into the influence of capitalist ideals on mental health recognition and treatment.

How many people do you know are going into therapy to survive in an increasing inhumane world?

It is worth acknowledging that capitalism's influence runs deep within the realm of mental health. Many symptoms and problems that individuals face today stem from their internal struggle to reconcile the contradictions presented by capitalism. Depression, for instance, has become alarmingly common, akin to a collective experience of zoochosis (a form of psychosis that develops in animals held captive in zoos). Furthermore, numerous mental health concerns originate from the dissonance between societal structures and our innate human nature.

Rediscovering Our True Nature:

As a species, our essence lies in existing harmoniously with nature itself. Our natural inclination involves engaging in activities such as hunting, farming, creating, and embracing occasional idleness before eventually passing away. However, the ceaseless work demanded by capitalist societies starkly opposes this natural state. Deep down, we all intuitively recognize this disparity, and it is this struggle between our true nature and societal expectations that ultimately leads to the deterioration of our mental well-being.

To address this escalating crisis, it is imperative to challenge and overthrow the system that has poisoned our bodies and minds. While peaceful transformation is desirable, the consequences of inaction should not be underestimated. The path to healing lies in dismantling the deeply entrenched capitalist structures that perpetuate these issues. It is crucial to recognize that it is not the individuals who are sick, but rather the very system that governs our lives.

Conclusion:

The complex relationship between psychiatry and capitalism warrants careful examination. By acknowledging the undercurrent of capitalist influence within mental health recognition and treatment, we can better understand the challenges individuals face today. It is our collective responsibility to foster a society that aligns with our true natural state, embracing our inherent connection to nature and dismantling oppressive systems. Only then can we pave the way for a more compassionate and holistic approach to mental well-being.

Love energy

Orgone, also known as bioplasmic energy or life force, is a hypothetical universal energy field postulated by Wilhelm Reich in the early 20th century. Reich believed that orgone was the basic substance of life and that it was responsible for a wide range of phenomena, including health, vitality, and emotional well-being.

Reich developed a number of devices to capture and manipulate orgone energy, including the accumulator, a box-like structure filled with organic materials that was said to increase the concentration of orgone around it. He also developed the orgone gun, a device that was supposed to focus orgone energy on specific areas of the body to treat illness.

Reich's work on orgone was controversial from the start, and it was met with skepticism from mainstream scientists. His theories were criticized for being unscientific and for lacking empirical evidence. In the 1950s, Reich was arrested, charged, convicted and imprisoned, and his books and papers were seized by the government.

Despite the controversy surrounding his work, Reich's ideas about orgone have continued to be popular among alternative health practitioners and New Age enthusiasts. Orgone therapy, which involves the use of orgone energy to treat various ailments, is still practiced by some people today.

There is no scientific evidence to support the existence of orgone energy. However, the concept of orgone has been influential in alternative medicine and New Age spirituality.

Here are some general guidelines for making orgone pyarmids:

check https://www.orgoneenergy.org/blogs/news/how-to-make-your-own-orgonite-pyramid

Social robots and the future of humanity

Social robots, such as Buddy, are becoming increasingly sophisticated and capable. They are supposedly able to provide companionship, support, and entertainment to people of all ages. While social robots have the potential to improve our lives in many ways, there is also a risk that they could lead to a more dehumanized society.

Emotional or social robots have the potential to benefit society? Could social robots provide companionship and support to people who are lonely and isolated? Could they also be used to help people with disabilities or chronic illnesses? Or could they be used in educational and therapeutic settings?

The idea of having such a robot interacting with my elderly, or my children makes me a little nervous.

I guess overall, the impact of social robots on society will depend on how they are used. If we can believe the manufacturer they have the potential to improve our lives in many ways. However, they could lead to a more dehumanized society.

In my opinion, there is no substitute for genuine human connection, and Buddy cannot provide the same level of intimacy and companionship as a real person, or even a dog. I mean, there are other, more affordable and natural solutions to loneliness, like spending time with friends and family, joining social groups, and volunteering in the community. These solutions can provide people with the human connection that they need to feel less lonely and isolated.

The fact that this pseudo solution is funded with public funds, and has been in the making for the last 6 years feels like this will never be a satisfying product, that will cost money, lots of money.

A simple game

Here is a fun game, it can even be played alone

Select a movie summary (from the back of a dvd) that no one in the group has seen before. 

Each group member will then write their own detailed version of the movie based on their imagination.

After everyone has completed their versions, watch the actual movie. 

Afterwards, enjoy reading each other's interpretations and share some laughs. 

The interesting twist is that some versions written by group members might be more compelling than the actual movie itself.

Nature

 I recall being on a train for work, feeling utterly depressed about my job and the dreadful progression of my day. 

As I gazed out the window, I noticed that just eight feet away from the railway and slag, there was grass, followed by trees, and then an array of birds and animals. 

It was in that moment I realized two distinct realities were unfolding simultaneously: I was immersed in a social network due to my work, yet also existing within nature. 

Unfortunately, nature had been relegated to the back seat in my life. 

Now, I use nature as my guide and navigate society in a more relaxed manner.

Almost like a Game

On one hand, we have the archetype of a leader, an egotistical individual. On the other hand, there is the populace, not particularly enlightened but extremely numerous. This dynamic gives rise to a power game.

This game has been played numerous times and continues to be 'enjoyed'.

Both parties harbor fears.

The leader fears losing control, which would result in humiliation, defeat, banishment or possibly worse.

The people fear being taken for granted, being repressed, having their property seized, and facing insurmountable taxes.

Both sides project their worst fears. The Crowd vs The Leader:

Given that the leader prioritizes his personal interests, the populace is likely to endure hardship. It's akin to reverting to medieval times with prevalent oppression, borderline slavery, and potential torture. A revolution or at least a change in leadership could be the only solution to this dire situation.

The Leader vs The People:

The people are perceived merely as cattle. They need a leader, and since these subject are insufferable, they need to be disciplined.

There is a great need of group therapy for nations.

2023 Mantras

•     Remind yourself of how far you've come and all the good things you've achieved.
•     Think back to when you were in a tough spot, but still managed to overcome it.
•     Embrace the surprises and unpredictability of life, like a fish gliding in the endless flow of water.
•     Focus on enjoying the present moment and being grateful for what you have, such as a job, a home, and a peaceful place to sleep.
•     Most of our worries are often just imagined, so try to relax and appreciate what you have.

2023 Goals

1.  delaying of gratification 
2. acceptance of responsibility
3. dedication to truth
4. balancing

Why talking with bullies won't work

Bullies will make promises, but they will never deliver everything they agreed to, 

because they have to get a "win" above and beyond whatever they actually negotiated. 

They do not want fair deals, and deals that look fair are probably traps.

Assuming you delivered your side of the deal first? 

Big mistake, now the bully will drag their feet and ask for more consideration and use what they owe you as leverage. 

A famous example of that is Donald Trump 

He always had some sort of "reserve" leverage he'd use to put the screws to people and alter deals later, or suddenly have some complaint and he'd withhold his payment.

Everything with these toxic people is excruciating and exhausting because they have to mess with you at every step.

Knowledge of other minds, and other intelligence

Chitta - the cosmic intelligence

beyond memory

beyond identity

100 Hours In Total Darkness

A darkness retreat traditionally is an ancient spiritual practice reserved for very advanced meditation practitioners.

Because people seem to be having profound experiences in the dark.

Very similar to a sensory deprivation tank, for the first time since you were born there is nothing but your own ability to just watch and observe your own mind in that darkness.

In the dark you will find that to reduce stress and anxiety is paramount, improve sleep as well.

Sense of time is gone, and only epiphanies and new ideas, new sensations are popping up

Realizing for example how we put so much importance on time, and distractions...

In our modern culture, we believe that we are worthy only if we are productive, but being in the dark, and having no distractions, no possible activities, only thoughts, is really a game changer.

Later the whole lot of negative emotions, and fears are slowly creeping in, and the only possible response to acknowledge them, one by one, and accept them.

My audience

How do you end up here on my blog? 

probably via a google search, right? 

I'm not fooled, I know quite well, that once you (dear visitor reader) will have found the content you were looking for, you leave and never come back 

Which is why I post daily here, to engage with my audience while of course trying to keep my very attached girlfriend at bay (her name is 'depression' by the way).

We're doomed

 Here is what happened earlier, I am in a shared office and my duty is more or less to take care of the lunch facility ; which lately has become a little challenging because I do not know for sure how many we are going to be around the table.

There are the 2 regular (a couple) but lately their eldest son is also joining, he has just turned 18, and he may or may not join, won't call before, it is always a surprise.

Today, the regular left the office a little early and I assumed they would come back around noon, table was set, I had prepared one meal for 3 and extra rice, a salad, and there was a couple of leftovers from the day before. 

Then I heard someone entering the shared office, and it was their 18 years old son, let's call him 'Gil' he grabbed a few potato chips and started to check what was cooking, I left my seat, and greeted him. He barely acknowledge me, then went into the toilet with his phone, I checked the table, crumbs everywhere.

That already started to piss me off, but I said nothing, I knew the meal would be a bit too small of the 4 of us, after about 5 or 10 minutes he left the toilet, and started to serve himself a plate, I sit next to him, and served myself some salads, he made no comments, grabbed some more potato chips, I stand up to open the casserole, and noticed, that he took about half already, I took my share, and then he served himself another portion, and at this point I told him that the remaining would not be enough, and he just grunted  'they will manage' 

I was really embarrassed, this young dude, was depriving food from his own parents, and while he left the table leaving his dirty plate, and crumbs everywhere, he lied on the couch with his mobile phone watching funny videos, with his greasy hair and dirty socks, ...

We are screwed, if this is the new generation, it made me uncomfortable.

In case of emergency

Lately I have noticed, how the mood can be influenced by TV Show, books, gossip, general conversation or interaction with people, music, etc ...

The weird thing is that for example depending on the moment, the same song, or movie will have an emotional impact, meaning tears will goosebumps, or great joy ; and later nothing ... because we moved on, or the overall mood is different, or we are not open to the same extent.

Reading is a great example of an activity that will impact completely differently our mood, if our mind is already filled with a lot of stress, or unsettled thoughts.

Meditation has its place in this process, because it is like coming back to the center of our being.

If we were a computer, deep sleep, meditation, having a good workout session would be like pressing the reset button.

Having a nice voice in our head, also a benevolent general atmosphere of supportive advice, like a very confident coach having our back at all time.

The internal dialog;

- You are doing good, you are fine, look at all the past events, and all the good things you've done so far.

- Remember that difficult time, you thought you would not be able to survive, you did it!

- Enjoy life, relax a little, look around you, realize how life is always surprising and accept it like a fish accept to swim in the never ending flow of water.

- There is nothing to do, in the end ; but to enjoy this good time, to breath and be grateful

- If you have a good job, a nice home, a quiet place to sleep, most of our worry are imaginary.